An OCD Villanelle

I am repulsive
Being just a bystander
In my mind. It is impulsive.

It is idiorepulsive,
My disorder.
I am repulsive

It is abusive.
I am on the boarder
In my mind. It is impulsive.

It is compulsive;
A necessity for order.
I am repulsive

I am a captive.
I have an intruder
In my mind. It is impulsive,

My Obsessive
Compulsive Disorder.
It is repulsive,
In my mind. I am impulsive.

A Perfect Love-A Sonnet

The perfect girl is so sweet and pale. She

Waits for me at work so patiently and

Calm.  Her old man gave her the third degree,

But she is safe and I never demand

A thing. She is so accepting of my

Faults and short comings. Her beauty is so

Undeniable. A fluorescent sky

Above our heads, and we are now alone.

~~~~

Her lips parting slightly, desiring my kiss.

My lips met hers and her wish is my bliss.

~~~~

The staff left you in room five under gloom-

y, white sheets. Getting cold? But you look warm.

I will crawl into bed with you as you

decompose and we’ll get cold together.

Diner: A Sestina

The moon is full and I have no shadow.

Does flesh

From a cow taste different than flesh from people?

I wish I could be dancing

With him, right after we would be pronounced man and wife and start our marriage.

Why did he have to be a cannibal?

I’m not willing, or now able, to be a cannibal.

I have no weight and I don’t have a shadow.

There is no record of that almost marriage

On any state record or a ring on my still remaining, decaying flesh.

My fingers were too skinny, now just a place where maggots dance.

I want maggots to be waltzing on me, like happy people.

What are people

Thinking about this modern cannibal?

Do they just carry on their drunk dancing

Festivities in ignorant bliss? I miss seeing my shadow.

I miss my eaten flesh.

I wish I never agreed to that marriage.

Apparently, the suggestion of marriage

Was just a ruse so he could cook my liver and feed it to you unsuspecting people.

I was tender and sweet, he said. Who knew he meant my muscles and flesh?

I wonder who I ate when he served hamburgers? Another cannibal?

Or just a shadow

Of a happy person dancing?

We met when I was dancing

And then two years later we were talking about marriage.

I should of I met that guy on facebook instead of going to a club. He had a shadow

Of a lawn chair as a profile picture. My friend said “Not to trust those people

They could be perverts, rapists, and murderers or wanna suck your blood, or be a cannibal,

Or crap like that!” She said when I still had my, currently being digested, flesh.

Most of me was made into that savory pot roast you just ate and my flesh

And fat was liquidated and mixed with some spices to make that sauce that’s dancing

On your tongue. You, all of you, his customers, don’t even know that you are new cannibals.

Welcome to the club.  See that couple, in the back, talking about marriage?

They just at my lips and cheeks. And the conversations from all the people,

Blocked out the fact that that girl is just getting fattened up. The collective shadow

Of the restaurant is joyful, happy, as they ate my flesh. That girl’s shadow

Is trying to inch, or maybe, dancing away from him. But she and the people

At the same table don’t notice. They will talk to a cannibal about his almost marriage.