An OCD Villanelle

I am repulsive
Being just a bystander
In my mind. It is impulsive.

It is idiorepulsive,
My disorder.
I am repulsive

It is abusive.
I am on the boarder
In my mind. It is impulsive.

It is compulsive;
A necessity for order.
I am repulsive

I am a captive.
I have an intruder
In my mind. It is impulsive,

My Obsessive
Compulsive Disorder.
It is repulsive,
In my mind. I am impulsive.